I remember the exact moment the worry crept in with my oldest. He was eighteen months old, and the other kids at our Rancho Palos Verdes playgroup were chattering away — "more crackers," "look, doggie!" — and my son was quiet. Pointing, yes. Understanding everything, sure. But the words weren't coming.
I'm a speech-language pathologist. I know the milestones better than I know my coffee order. And still — when it's your kid, that knowledge doesn't quiet the 2 AM spiral. So if you're reading this at midnight with a knot in your stomach, I see you. Let me walk you through what I know as both a clinician and a mom.
What to Look For by Age
Every child develops on their own timeline, and I always say that milestones are guidelines, not deadlines. But there are certain things I watch for that tell me a child might benefit from some extra support.
By 12 Months
By their first birthday, most babies are babbling with different sounds ("bababa," "mamama"), responding to their name, and using at least one or two words (even if they're not crystal clear). They should also be using gestures — pointing, waving bye-bye, reaching up to be held. If your one-year-old is very quiet, doesn't babble much, or doesn't seem to respond when you call their name, that's worth noting.
By 18 Months
This is when I expect to hear around 20 words — and they count even if only you can understand them. "Ba" for ball? That's a word. "Nana" for banana? Word. Your toddler should also be following simple directions like "give me the cup" and pointing to things they want. If your eighteen-month-old has fewer than 10 words or doesn't seem to understand simple instructions, it's a good time to check in with a professional.
By 24 Months
By age two, most children are combining two words together — "more milk," "daddy go," "big truck." They typically have around 50 or more words, and strangers should be able to understand them about half the time. If your two-year-old is still mostly using single words, isn't combining words, or is very hard for others to understand, I'd recommend getting an evaluation.
By 3 Years
Three-year-olds are little chatterboxes. They should be using 3-4 word sentences, asking questions, and strangers should understand them most of the time (about 75%). If your three-year-old is hard to understand, gets frustrated trying to communicate, or isn't using sentences, an evaluation can give you clear answers.
Other Things I Watch For (At Any Age)
Beyond word counts, there are other signs that speech-language support might help: difficulty with feeding or swallowing, loss of words they used to say, not making eye contact during interactions, not responding to sounds or their name, excessive drooling past age two, or relying mostly on gestures instead of trying to use words. None of these automatically means there's a problem, but together they paint a picture.
What to Do First
If any of this resonates, here's my honest advice — don't wait. I know well-meaning family members love to say, "Oh, he'll talk when he's ready," or "Einstein didn't talk until he was four." And yes, some late talkers do catch up. But early intervention is the most effective tool we have, and there's absolutely no downside to getting an evaluation.
Start here: (1) Talk to your pediatrician and share your specific concerns. (2) Contact California Early Start if your child is under three — evaluations are free. (3) Reach out to a speech-language pathologist (like me!) for a screening. An evaluation doesn't commit you to anything. It simply gives you information — and information is power.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
When I was worried about my son, the most helpful thing anyone said to me was: "Noticing is not overreacting." You know your child better than any milestone chart. If something feels off, trust that feeling. It doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with your child — it means you're paying attention, and that makes you a great parent.
My son? He's seven now and never stops talking. He did benefit from some early support, and I'm grateful I didn't wait. If you're in the South Bay and want to talk through what you're seeing, I'm always here. No judgment, no pressure — just one mom to another.
